


Enter the Jackawoos

by Lunchbox_Philosopher



Category: Steam Powered Giraffe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-16
Updated: 2014-02-16
Packaged: 2018-01-12 17:01:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1192884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunchbox_Philosopher/pseuds/Lunchbox_Philosopher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Oneshot)<br/>When Matter Mistress Bunny breaks science, her twin is called in to fix things. But Matter Master David has a habit of bringing in unusual creatures from the field...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Enter the Jackawoos

“Mr Walter! Mr Walter! Peter!” Peter Walter the Sixth knew something was seriously wrong when Walter Girl Paige called him by his first name. The technician, although mischievous, was usually very observant of what she deemed proper employee behavior where the Walter family was concerned. Today, however, she had burst into his private lab out of breath, with her blue-streaked hair sticking out at odd angles and a look of absolute panic on her pale face.  
“What is it, Miss Paige?” the scientist calmly put down his test tubes, “did Hatchworth get into the pantry again? I’ve told him a hundred times that he can’t make sandwiches anymore…” He got up and started moving to the door, but was stopped by his assistant as she grabbed his arm.  
“No, sir, its…its…we have a spinner, sir” Peter’s heart dropped. Spinners were dangerous, especially in a place as scientifically unstable as Walter Manor. Whenever an employee ‘broke science’, as it was known, it meant headaches and paperwork for days. Luckily, there were people far more capable of dealing with them than Peter. He sat back down.  
“Well, that’s unfortunate. Let Matter Mistress Bunny know, and I’ll get started on the legal papers while she sorts it out.” Paige did not move. “What is it? Paige, what’s wrong?”  
Walter workers were stark white, the color bleached out of their skin by long exposure to Blue Matter. Peter had not thought it was possible for them to get any paler, but he was shocked to see the woman in front of him lose even the blue in her lips.  
“That’s the problem, sir…it’s the Matter Mistress. She broke science.”  
Peter ran.

There was a crowd in the front hall. Peter shoved his way through, pushing the inhabitants of the Manor out of the way with his cane. Reaching the center of the room, he saw the formidable Matter Mistress, floating a foot above the ground and turning slowly, a smug smile on her black lips. The mime was rotating in a cloud of blueish gas, pieces of glass all around her on the floor. Her clipboard, the unmistakable sign of her absolute authority over the lesser employees, was laying pointlessly on the floor. No one had dared to touch it. No one had even gotten close to the Matter Mistress except the robots. The Spine was trying his hardest to keep the confused and terrified Walter Workers out of the way, and he looked at Peter with a look of distinct relief on his silver face. Rabbit was bouncing slightly, her cyberlocks flying as she egged the mime to spin faster. Hatchworth was on the Matter Mistress’s back, hitching a ride and laughing joyfully. He looked over at Peter and grinned, his blue eyes blowing behind his spectacles.  
“Peter! I am helping!” He laughed as Peter sighed, wondering how in the world a thousand pound robot could ride on a human being’s back without the human noticing. Then again, the Matter Mistress was not exactly human…Peter shook himself, there were problems to fix.  
“The Spine, what happened? How did she, of all people, break science?” The silver automaton looked distressed.  
“I don’t know, Peter, I’m sorry, I wasn’t here. I was in the Hall of Wires when I heard the screams, and I only saw this. I did send Paige to get you, though.”  
“Yes, thank you, The Spine,” he turned to the room. “Who was in here when she started spinning?” Rabbit raised her hand. “Yes, Rabbit?”  
“M-m-m-me and Hatchy were in here, Petes, we were just playing…she got mad a-a-a-a-a-nd told us to leave…it was so c-c-c-cool! She went all glowy!”  
Peter turned back the rotating mime. “Hatchworth, please get down from there, you’re making me dizzy. Thank you.” He reached out with his cane and tried to touch the Matter Mistress. Blue sparks flicked out at him. “I can’t-Hatchworth, how did you-never mind. Someone tell me when her brother arrives, please?”  
“But Petes, he’s out! We d-d-d-d-d-don’t know when he’ll be back!”  
Peter smiled tiredly under his mask. “They’re twins, Rabbit. He’ll already know something is wrong. Until then, clear the room, please. Let her be, I don’t want to deal with any more spinners today.”

Half an hour later, there was a commotion in the front hall. Peter stood up from his desk and headed for the doorway, but was interrupted by the Matter Master himself bursting in.  
“Mr Walter, Rabbit told me that Bunny broke science. Where is she?” Peter stared.  
“She’s um, in the front hall…David, what on earth are those things?” He pointed at the creatures hanging from the other man’s jacket.  
“Oh, these? These are jackawoos, they’re completely harmless, don’t worry.” He brushed them off and strode out to find his twin, leaving Peter and the jacakwoos staring at each other.  
The jackawoos were…different. They looked like perfectly normal rabbits, but with an alarming, jutting set of bonelike growths all down the side of their heads. One of them cocked its head at Peter. “Woo?”  
Peter hurried out.

The front hall was not much better. Matter Master David had apparently been in the middle of some sort of Kazooland experiment with a flock of the jackawoos when he felt something, because the furry creatures were everywhere, filling the room with their high-pitched voices.  
“Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!” Hatchworth had picked up several of the small animals and was cuddling them, while Rabbit chased a group around the room, attempting for some unknown reason to blast them with her flamethrower.  
“G-G-G-ET BACK HERE, YA VARMINTS! I AIN’T D-D-D-D-D-DONE WITH YA!” She crashed into The Spine, who stood perfectly still, looking terrified. As Peter looked on helplessly, the titanium automaton turned and fled, racing into the Hall of Wires and shutting the door.  
“Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!” the jackawoos being chased by Rabbit ran past Peter, nearly tripping him as they tried to escape the flames. Peter cautiously headed over to the Matter twins, where David was helping his sister off the floor, brushing the glass from her poofy skirt and handing her the Clipboard of Authority. Peter stood next to them, being very careful not to hide from the jackawoos between the tall siblings. “Mistress Bunny, are you alright?”  
The mime gave him a look that clearly said Yes, but keep those robots out of my way or next time it won’t be glass being brushed off the floor. Her face cleared as she saw Peter’s concern. I’m fine, Mr. Walter, really. It won’t happen again. Science is safe. Let me get David back out to his real job. She smiled and hooked her arm through her brother’s, walking him to the door. As Peter watched, she mimed petting a large animal, then passed an imaginary set of reins to her brother. The remnants of Kazooland magic in the manor made the mime’s power stronger, and David was soon sitting on top of a large jackawoo, riding into the sunset like one of the cowboys in the old movies The Spine liked so much. 

Inside the hall of wires, The Spine sat quietly, trying to calm himself after the disaster outside. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, the human function coming naturally after a century of imitation. The startled jump was also a habit he had picked up from humans, although few people had ever been snuck up on by QWERTY. The computerized personification of the Hall of Wires, QWERTY loved to sneak up on The Spine. “THE SPINE. THE SPINE. THERE ARE CREATURES IN THE FRONT HALL.”  
“Yes, QWERTY, I am aware. Matter Master David said they are called jackawoos.”  
“THE SPINE. THE SPINE. THERE ARE JACKAWOOS IN THE FRONT HALL AND HATCHWORTH IS PUTTING ONE IN HIS HAT.”  
“THE SPINE. RABBIT HAS SET ONE ON FIRE. “  
“OOOOH, THE SPINE, THEY ARE JUMPING ON MARSHMALLOW.”  
“THE SPINE. THERE ARE WALTER GIRLS TRYING TO PICK UP THE JACKAWOOS”  
“THE SPINE. THERE ARE JACKAWOOS IN PETER’S DESK”  
“THE SPINE. PETER IS GOING TO HIS OFFICE. HEHEH, HE DOES NOT KNOW THERE ARE JACKAWOOS THERE.”  
“THE SPINE. PETER IS THROWING THINGS”  
“THE SPINE. DO YOU WANT TO SEE?” Despite his refusal, QWERTY stuck the monitor in his face and pulled up the video feed from the rest of the manor.  
There were jackawoos everywhere. They ran through the halls, into the labs, out and around the rooms, and wove through the legs of the Manor’s inhabitants, shrieking loudly. “WOO! WOO! WOO!” One unlucky group ran into the Matter Mistress’s office. She frowned and made a wide gesture. The jackawoo tore out, calling to its kin.  
“WOOWOOWOO!” The flock ran, meeting in one flood of brown fur. They ran in one direction now, heading out of the house. In a few moments, they were out of sight.  
The Spine saw everyone give a sigh of relief. Well, everyone except his siblings. Deprived of their new friends, Rabbit and Hatchworth went to find their brother, intent on describing every event he had missed in excruciating detail. They reached the Hall of Wires and knocked, but he did not let them in. Undeterred, they sat outside and told him everything; and when they ran out facts, began to make up stories. The Spine unwound his neck from his body, sending his head up into the wires strung all around the Hall, where it was harder to hear and easier to rest. 

Three hours later, Rabbit and Hatchworth had finally gotten bored and decided to go play somewhere else. The Spine, thinking to check on Peter, sent his head snaking back to his body, resting beneath the wires. Just before he reconnected, though, he saw something inside the cavity where his snakelike spine should go: half a dozen pairs of bright, beady eyes.  
“WOO?”


End file.
